Lately I’ve been made aware of a neuroscientist (Nora) whose one-two minute “talks” address issues that we all face. She makes sense, and today she brought up an issue that I was planning to address in my blog, but now I have a different take on it.
First, here’s the issue. Last week I was preparing to back the car out of the garage and run an errand. Marco had backed his truck into the driveway with several bags of cement. I was presented with a choice: either try to back out and swing wide enough to go around Marco’s truck or wait for Marco to move it. I chose to back around the truck, unaware of the lift gate on the truck which as I backed up scratched the last panel on the car, a $4800 mistake. I could have waited for Marco, perhaps a minute’s time.
When I saw the scratch I didn’t know what the cost to fix it was going to be. It didn’t matter. I didn’t wait for Marco, and for my impatience and poor decision-making I paid a price, a very large price. I certainly won’t try to defend it. Nothing to defend. It was incredibly stupid. It isn’t the first (and not likely to be the last) stupid decision that I have made, and will make. For four days I’ve been carrying the weight of my stupidity, losing self-assurance, having revealed to myself that I’m not the person that I thought I was.
I also thought about not having it repaired so that every time I climbed in the car I’d be reminded about what I had done. Yes, it would have lowered the trade-in price of the car, so even if I didn’t have it repaired now I would have lost the money one way or the other in the future.
So what does Nora think about all that? Nora didn’t want me to take it personally, to actually believe that I am stupid. She wants me to see the decision as part of a pattern that came to visit me. In other words, instead of looking at it in the first person, I could stand back and see this visitor in the third person, something that came for a brief moment, then went away. It’s not part of my fabric. I saw it come and I’m seeing it go away.
Nora wasn’t done, though. She suggested that when these patterns come to visit don’t pay them any attention. Focus on something that you’ve done that was smart, that would leave you with good feelings about yourself. It works. The burden is lighter.
So I went to see Nora on Facebook.
My friend Nora
For $30 Nora will sell me a 30-Day Brain Reset which will give me neuroscience-backed tools I will use for the rest of my life.” A fan said, “Thanks Nora I never received your other document for another topic the other day. Hope you are doing well Nora. Thanks for this video. I am interacting with others today to prevent onset of loneliness. Thanks.”
Another: “Nora, your commentaries perfectly describe my physical maladies. Dopamine has controlled my life for as long as I can remember. I was going to ask you to come live with me. With you here guiding me, I would be perfect. Unfortunately, southwest Ohio is not quite as picturesque as what I see out side your patio. Thanks for all of your help.”
Looking closely at her profile on Facebook I saw that she has no friends, none of the accoutrements that accompany Facebook profiles. How strange. Looking more closely I saw this: “Nora is an AI-generated educational persona. For general wellness education only—not medical advice.”
Oh Nora, we hardly knew you.